I get scared every time I hear a new Tiki bar is opening up in New York. Not because I’m worried that it’s not going to be good or that the Mai Tais will be pink or that it’s going to bastardize our tiki culture. I fear that it’s going to be great and it’s going to close before I get a chance to visit it. New York has been a hostile environment for Tiki bars these past few decades. Whether it was Painkiller, which died after numerous legal battles or Lani Kai, which vanished in the middle of the night, New York has never been Tiki friendly.
Earlier this year, a few big publications broke the news that Major Food Group (not exactly Tiki) was opening a massive, 4,900 square-foot Tiki bar on the West side of Times Square in the lobby of the POD Hotel. The grand opening happened around Memorial Day weekend and Hambone, George and I got to check it out on a rainy Sunday evening in early June.
The Polynesian is easy enough to find. It’s located on the corner of 9th Ave. and 42nd Street and free street parking is available on 9th on Sundays. The front of the POD has signage for the Tiki bar, so you can’t really miss it. After a short elevator ride to the third floor we spotted a darkened alcove with a security guard and handful of hostesses that seemed perplexed as to who should guide us to a table or the bar. We had to wait about 15 minutes while they sorted out logistics and we were under the impression that the place was packed. But no, we were just forgotten for some strange reason. After asking yet another hostess to be seated, we were guided through a large front room decorated with a massive Polynesian-inspired painting, lounge seating and two carvings that could loosely be defined as Tiki.
All the seats were taken at the bar, but there were a few high-tops in the area, so we grabbed some seats and checked out the menu. The drinks appeared to be custom designed for The Polynesian. No Mai Tais or Suffering Bastards were on the menu, but the place did a great job concocting its potions with fun names like Potions of the French Polynesia, The Derelict and Black Bart Cobbler.
I went fruity to start, with Damned to the Depths, a lovely passion-fruit libation with hints of absinthe. The bartenders on duty were legit, slowly creating our drinks with precision rather than slapping together a bunch of rums and mixers like most cocktail bars in Manhattan. I chased that drink with a Vaya Kon Tiki, a very different cocktail that mixed coconut juice, rum and cayenne pepper for an acquired taste that went down spicy but finished fruity. Very strange, but I appreciated the risk.
The music and ambience were a mixed bag. The tunes started off with surf and garage rock that seemed well-suited for the venue, but sadly drifted into reggae and classic rock as the evening progressed. The bar was adjacent to another huge room with proper seating that looked perfect for dinner service, but The Polynesian’s food selection is limited to a more tapas fare. That said, the sliders and crab Rangoon were delectable and helped us sponge up some of the alcohol that we were thoroughly enjoying.
While the drinks at The Polynesian are definitely of the Tiki variety, the décor most certainly is not. Rather than the usual thatch and bamboo, the venue went with a modern, dark wood look that appears to be inspired by the modern Tiki Witco vibe. To be fair, it works with the location and feel of the hotel. In other words, I wouldn’t feel odd conducting a business meeting with clients at this bar. There’s also a grand patio to the side, but we couldn’t enjoy it due to the rainy weather.
The only sad part of the whole trip to The Polynesian was that the bar took the time and effort to commission gorgeous custom Tiki mugs from Tiki Diablo and Tiki Farm (with another coming from Bosko), but none were available for sale to the general public. I’m not sure why a New York Tiki bar would want to serve drinks in $100 tiki mugs rather than use more generic mugs for serving and selling the high-end ones, but to each their own. I asked to buy two of the local-exclusive mugs and was rejected by the bartender and eventually told to go away by the guy in the sports coat hovering near the corner of the bar. Seriously, no one should ever wear a sports coat at a Tiki bar, especially if you work there.
All in all, we had a great time at The Polynesian. While not a Tiki bar in the traditional sense, the quality of the drinks and food were excellent.Hopefully, The Polynesian will break the New York Tiki curse and last a long time. At the very least, I’m going to have to go back to buy some mugs when they finally realize how much money they are leaving on the table—literally.
