Guttermouth is one of those oddball punk bands that just won’t die. They peaked with their fourth full-length album (Musical Monkey) in 1997, but still tour and release albums to this day. What makes them so amazing is just how hated they were by everyone in the ’90s punk scene. It was a testament to how easily offended punks were back in the day and Guttermouth relished in it. They released songs mocking any group that they could get a reaction from — straightedge kids, feminists, vegans, donkeys — everyone was fair game. If it wasn’t the song topics people hated, it was singer Mark Adkin’s obnoxious nasal voice that sounded like Fat Mike sped up to 45 RPMs.

Those who could look past the band’s flaws, became diehard fans and loved their catchy punk anthems like “1-2-3 Slam,” “Racetrack” and “Disneyland.” This interview was conducted in the basement of Coney Island High on January 18, 1997, just before the release of Musical Monkey and at the peak of their popularity. Mark was generous with his time and spent way too much time answering questions about sprinkler systems that I shouldn’t have even been asking.

This interview was originally published in Life In A Bungalo #8

(Edit note: Mark makes a fuss about not wanting to sit on any of the furniture in the Coney Island High dressing room)

George: You don’t mind shoving a drum stick up your butt, yet you don’t want to sit on a Coney Island High couch cushion. What’s up with that?

Mark: Yeah, that’s kind of weird, isn’t it?

George: You’re wife doesn’t care that you stick drum sticks up your butt?

Mark: I don’t have a wife. I have a girlfriend. 

George: Same thing. 

Mark: No, it isn’t and she doesn’t like it. She hates that stuff, but she’s use to it by now. 

George: Was she with you before you started the band?

Mark: I met her in New York at the Irving Plaza when we played there with The Offspring.

George: With Big Drill Car and The Lunachicks? I was there.

Mark: That was the show. 

George: Are you going to ask her to marry you? 

Mark: If I ever go that far, I guess that would be the girl. 

George: Could you support her as a sprinkler inspector? (Edit note: I have no idea how I knew he was a sprinkler inspector)

Mark: Yeah, there’s money in that. 

George: What kind of sprinklers do you work with?

Mark: Fire protection. I drill a tap at city mains and then drag them to buildings. I also draw blueprints for buildings. If someone would come in here and renovate the place and gut the walls, I would draw the blueprints for the renovation. I also walk buildings in Los Angeles and inspect the sprinkler systems to make sure they are up to code.

George: Do you let people off at all?

Mark: No, if you sign your name saying that a building is up to code and something goes wrong, you’re legally responsible for that system.

George: If you hold a lighter up to a sprinkler will it just go off? Like in the movies?

Mark: Yes it would, but it would take about 15 seconds. 

George: If vegans care so much about animals, why don’t they have cows for pets?

Mark: I have no idea. I asked Davey from AFI about that. We went to Europe with them and he’s super vegetarian, but not quite vegan and he loves animals. I mean I do too — I have a dog — but I was like, “Dave, if you had ants crawling all over your sink, would you kill them?” and he was like, “Sure I would.” So, I was like, “Then why are you so against people killing cows?”

George: That does seem hypocritical. 

Mark: That’s totally hypocritical. So I asked him, “What if you had tiny cows crawling out of your sink and wandering around your house? Would you kill the cows?” He just froze and didn’t know what to say, because for some reason cows have more reason to live than ants do. If you were an animal-rights person, you would be gung-ho all the way. Some vegans are very selective about what animals they would like to see survive. 

George: Are you selective at all?

Mark: No, I eat meat. That’s what it’s there for.

George: Is it true that you can’t go to Canada?

Mark: Yeah, I have a record in Canada. 

George: Can you dress up like a Canadian and just try to cross the border illegally?

Mark: I have to fly over as a tourist and meet up with the band separately. Last time I went to Canada, they stopped me at the border and wouldn’t let me in. I sat there for a couple of hours and they decided that if we gave them enough money, they would consider letting us in. It’s all bribery; it’s pretty stupid.

George: Why did you have to leave the Warped Tour?

Mark: I got hurt.

George: So the rumors that you were hazing other bands and pissing on cops weren’t true?

Mark: No.

George: Have you ever thrown raw meat at Earth Crisis?

Mark: What? No, that’s just weird. We did have a run-in with one of the guys in their crew though. It was at the Warped Tour, when we were performing and making fun of vegetables or something, [the band’s van driver] got really upset and he hit me a couple of times. He basically wanted to beat me up because we didn’t eat the same kinds of food. That the vegan mentality.

George: Are you condemning all vegans because of Earth Crisis.

Mark: Well, I’m not saying that they’re stupid, but I don’t believe in what they believe in — I think it’s childish. They would just assume beat up a human for not eating what they eat. Hell, they’re against hunting, yet they are for the NRA.

George: Who is Teri Yakimoto? Was she a girlfriend?

Mark: She was everybody’s girlfriend at one time or another.

George: And you named an album after her? Did she have your kids?

Mark: She had everybody’s kids. She was like the traveling companion for the whole band.

George: You live in Los Angeles. Have you ever been shot? 

Mark: No, we live in a nice area. I’m not stupid. Those people who live in areas where people are shot are idiots. I mean, if I lived in a bad area, I would move. I have been shot at for being in the wrong neighborhood.

George: Is that where you got the scars on your stomach?

Mark: No, I got hit by a telephone pole. I was asleep in the back of Eric’s truck with my friend Wayne and we were spooning because it was so cold outside. We were driving home from some bar and Eric went up on the curb. He took out one of those concrete light posts and it shattered into a million pieces. 

Eric “Derek” Davis, guitar: Then it took out a telephone pole.

Mark: Hey Eric, I’m telling your story. When it hit the telephone pole, it sheered off the bottom and went over the truck smashing into me. I broke my hip in a couple of places. 

Eric: When Mark got out of the hospital, that’s when we started the band.

Mark: We had actually just started the band when Eric ran up the fucking curb. That put us on hiatus for eight months, but it’s a great story. That was in 1989.

George: How did you get on Nitro Records?

Mark: James [Nunn, drummer] is good friends with Brian [Dexter Holland] from The Offspring. James discovered them on college radio and we became friends with them over the years. As soon as Brian got rich and famous he started his own record label called Nitro. Kind of like Fat Mike. Not that Fat Mike is rich and famous. I mean, he might be famous, but he also might be… anyway. He started a label and asked us to be on it. We had no better options at the time and we would rather work for a friend. 

George: You’ve verbally assaulted straightedge kids, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Kiss, hippies… Is there any movement that you haven’t bashed in your career?

Mark: Yeah.

Eric: No. I’m Mark’s conscious.

Mark: Any movement involved in punk rock is pretty stupid and fair game. Remember, this is just my opinion and not that of the the rest of the band. 

Eric: The Red Hot Chili Peppers suck.

Mark: And we didn’t attack KISS. I paid $55 to see KISS.

George: Do you think Guttermouth sounds more like NoFX now?

Mark: Totally, they are our main influence. I’m kidding.

George: Do you take anything seriously?

Mark: Fuck yeah. Bruce Lee vs. The KISS Army. Sure, we take ourselves seriously.